Hi! I’m Emily Grosvenor, author of Find Yourself At Home, a design magazine editor. Start here to read about why this newsletter is called ★ I would do it differently ★.
We knew this was going to happen, didn’t we? A while back I wrote a post about how much I hate neutral checkerboard and wished it would go away.
Now it’s on everything.
If you can think of a home decor or home good item, there is someone out there putting neutral checkerboard on it.
Those someones may be invidual makers on Etsy, where you kind of root for them even if you hate the product, or it could be Temu, the Chinese marketplace known for its cheap (and cheaply made) products, where you can get everything from placemats to wrapping paper to pillows, throws, and curtains.
What’s my problem with neutral checkerboard?
First, I hate it for how it works. It really catches your attention, like visual click bait on an article about nothing.
But apart from my aesthetic concerns with neutral check (it’s a middle aged white lady at a ska concert), the biggest problem I see with the pattern is that it screams fast fashion.
There’s not much thought or creativity behind it. The average person comfortable with Canva could make their own pillow at Spoonflower in about three and a half minutes.
That opens up too many possibilities for limitless product iteration on quick-to-consumer goods.
These are products designed to sell in the moment, to last for however long the neutral checkerboard trend lasts (even while it’s lasting much longer than I thought it might).
The journey is short from production to consumption and on to the dump, so every time I see neutral check it brings to mind a mass ecological disaster, in beige.
Here are some of the latest neutral checkerboard products that have been rubbing me in all the wrong ways. Check them out!
Neutral checkerboard pumpkin
McKenzie Childs merch is always divisive, but at least it’s a company that has an authentic creative claim on checkerboard. This one is probably the best of the emerging neutral checkerboard pumpkin category.
Shower curtain
Neutral is just one of the colors you can get on this shower curtain from Amazon.com. It’s the most useful of the neutral check products since you’ll be right where you need to be once you take a look at it.
Trash can
A fully appropriate application of neutral checkerboard. These are super weird, but, surprise! There isn’t a lot of neutral check on wastepaper baskets yet (please don’t get on it).
Hobby Lobby Wall Hanging
As if you didn’t have enough reasons to hate Hobby Lobby, there’s this wall hanging that you didn’t even make yourself.
Iphone case
If I’m being honest, I actually kind of like this one. If trends are for feeling like you’re a part of something in the zeitgeist, and, arguably, showing that to others, I think this one is probably the least odious version you can find. Iphone cases are pretty much disposable goods (for better or worse), but at least they are made for obsolescence, much like this pattern.
Paper plates
Finally, I give you this neutral checkerboard paper plate from Zazzle. It’s perhaps the least odious version (ignoring that it’s super wasteful), since you’ll have to spend the least amount of time with it and it will travel quickly to the place neutral checkerboard belongs.
Have fun check-spotting for the next week. One you’ve attuned your eye to its pervasiveness, you’ll see it everywhere! Where have you seen it?
P.S. Can you tell I’ve been feeling a bit salty lately? Maybe I’ve been a little easier to ruffle since major media outlets started reporting on decorating the inside of your fridge, a la Fridgerton. My fridge shame is real.
SO overdone! I will say I like the quality of our slowtide towels which were requested by Jess in teal checker.