12 years of sending the same present to everyone on my list
OR: Gifting sanity happens when you design boundaries for yourself.
The other day, I went back through 13 years’ worth of email receipts from our holiday gift giving to remember what we bought for people — and why.
This became necessary because I have already had one breakdown / crying fit over the holiday gifting season and I was trying to remember the boundaries I had put on myself so I wouldn’t get so overwhelmed when the end of November rolls around.
Emily’s self-imposed RULES for sending holiday gifts:
It has to be made in Oregon by an independent maker (to help keep more money in our community).
It must be $30 or less (to stay within budget).
It should be consumable (so we know we aren’t filling someone else’s house with junk).
It has to have adorable packaging (because, duh).
Everyone gets the same thing. EVERYONE. (So I can stay sane).
There was a reason I set these rules. The pressure I put on myself this time of year to find just the right gifts is highly suspect.
Because I am an editor, I can’t rest until I’ve looked at every sale, email, ad, news alert, push notifications, and flyer until my mind becomes this flipping Rolodex, trying to match every person I know with an ideal gift experience.
And it can’t just be a gift — it has to make the recipient feel loved, appreciated, delighted, and, most importantly, seen.
I want every gift to be a physical manifestation of an emotional experience of being known.
And I live for spectacles.
And I long to delight.
And if I let myself care as much as I actually do care, I insist on nothing less than changing someone’s life.
I don’t know, guys, that might be a bit much, don’t you think?
I must have figured out early on that this just won’t do, so the year we moved away from everyone we knew, we developed the above system to keep me in check.
Going through this list has been a balm for me this week — a reminder that it doesn’t have to be as crazy as I’m inclined to make it.
So I thought I’d share what we landed on throughout the years and maybe that’ll make things easier for someone else out there.
12 years of gifts we have sent from the Willamette Valley (and one for this year)
2010: Soap Slab Company
The year we moved to Oregon I was super into the idea of sending Douglas Fir soap to everyone I knew because I wanted them to smell what I was smelling.
2011: Oregon Growers Marionberry Jam
I never grow tired of marionberry and making the Chris Rock Marion Berry joke, so this was a good year.
2012: Moonstruck Chocolate
We sent hot chocolate to everyone from this Portland company, in part because the tins were so cute.
2013: Republic of Jam
This company is now defunct, but we always liked its inventive flavors, so everyone got a three-pack that year.
2014: Jacobsen Salt Co.
American sea salt might be the best gift for anyone, ever, unless maybe you have high blood pressure.
2015: Bee Local Honey
A friend of mine ran this company for a while, and had installed hives throughout the Willamette Valley. He was introducing the idea of terroir to honey and we loved sharing it.
2016: Pacific Dry-roasted Hazelnuts
My son’s favorite food is hazelnuts, and they are a giant crop where we live, so this one felt easy.
2017: One Fork Caramels
We know the makers behind these best caramels in the history of caramels and they have fun flavors like vanilla bean and coffee rum horchata.
2018: Durant Olive Oil
We’re members at this Oregon mill and that year sent Arbequina oil and balsamic vinegar to tables across the country.
2019: Flag & Wire Coffee
Our friends own this little coffee roastery in our small town, so we know their methods are good and their relationships with growers are great.
2020: Steven Smith Teamaker
Our favorite tea company makes a special holiday blend but we are far more likely to send a wellness trio or just the Golden Light turmeric tea.
2021: Olympia Provisions
We are a family known to bring bacon across state lines, so charcuterie of the Saucisson Sec variety was an easy choice.
2022: Alchemist Jam
A lovely local couple runs my favorite local jam company and switches up the strawberry with lemon and ginger. Also, cool art (the owner is the artist).
This year we are sending…
2023: Brigittine Monastery Monk-made Chocolates
I fully expect that these truffles have been prayed over, and I’m hoping that solemnity and singleness of intention carries over into the shipping process. Then again, I think Adam’s a no on this one because of the sugar, so I might do it differently.
How do you design your holiday season so you don’t lose your mind? I would love to hear what boundaries people set for themselves.
Design Trend of the Week: Puffy everything
I was at a dinner party last week and another mom was talking about how teenage girls swooning over guys with big, puffy hair right now. Which of course got me thinking about how it’s not just hair but puffy jackets and puffy furniture. In our digital age, people are looking for comfort through texture — think: walking around like you’re wearing your mattress. Anything to feel safe in this crazy world, amirite? Above ↑ you see my lucky son Griffin, with his puffy hair, an actual product my husband sent me last week as a possible Christmas gift, a sofa from AllModern I’ve been seeing everywhere in the design world, and my friend Judiann’s daughter in front of an Aritzia display last week. Prediction: Sean Combs will change his name back.
Creativity outtake: We made our own Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade
So if you love a parade but don’t actually like being at the parade, or you have never been to New York at the holidays, recreating your own Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade is a fun project. Our version is after an original concept by House that Lars Built, but we switched up the scale a bit. I wanted to go bigger on the balloons, and we didn’t have time to actually build a cityscape, so we went with LEGO sets and giant Mylar characters. At $13.50 a pop, this was a bit expensive, but we just chilled in the house all week, so WORTH IT.
I’d do some of this differently. I’d have taken more time with it with the kids and focused more on setting up scenes of parade-goers. I would have gotten four balloons (five was overkill), and I would have tried to find a giant turkey balloon to have a seasonal tie-in. This parade did legitimize buying LEGO sets as gifts for 14 years, so that’s a win. You can watch a video and see it all here.
I’m moderating a talk!
On Sunday, December 10, I’ll be moderating a chat at City Home in Portland with designer Karen Nepacena of Destination Eichler and photographer Chris Dibble on their new book Midcentury Modern Style. I have so many questions!
There are a ton of MCM homes in the Pacific Northwest, and I am convinced this book is going to become THE resource for restoring these homes with a taste of the era while also modernizing them for the lives we live now. You can come for free, but you should sign up now to reserve a spot.
New to MC? You could read my story about the largest neighborhood by the region’s reigning MCM builder, Robert Rummer.
What I’m reading to get through the season: The Sabbath
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